René Artois is the owner and manager of a café in German-occupied France of World War II. To look at him, it's hard to believe that some women find him irresistible, something he has to work hard to hide from his wife Edith. René's cafe, frequented by both the German military and the French resistance, is the focal point for the show. René's a bit of a coward and is stuck in the middle, trying to humor both sides. Hidden in the cafe are two English airmen who don't understand a word of French. Other characters include Lt. Gruber, a homosexual German tank driver; Otto Flick, the evil SS officer who is always outsmarted; and Engelbert von Smallhausen, his small sidekick. René's not the only coward in town: Capt. Hans Geering and Col. Kurt von Strohm are constantly on the defensive along with Capt. Alberto Bertorelli of the Italian army, who has a medal for servicing Fiats. Much of the farce comes from Officer Crabtree, an English agent disguised as a French policeman with a poor grasp of "Zee Fronch Linguige", and from René's amorous waitresses, Mimi, Yvette, and Maria.