Dancing with the Stars: Monday, May 16, 2011

Ooh, we're down to the wire with this semifinal results show. By the end, we will know which three couples will dance for the glittering mirror ball in next week's finale, and we will be wiser for it. Come, let's learn. Tom is still Tom and Brooke is still a straight key, per their intros. Chelsea and Mark's rumba is the judges' selection for the re-dance. Chelsea once again starts with a giant chiffon veil, like she's a kid playing wedding with her mom's curtains. Once that's off, we're treated to two scantily clad, extremely good-looking, physically fit people intertwining. They are living sculptures and we're watching moving art. As usual! Hines and Kym's night is recapped. Hines cried even more than we knew after the first performance. After the across-the-board 10's, Kym said, "I would jump in the air, but I shouldn't," which is almost as hilarious as actually jumping in the air (and jumping in the air is  hilarious ). Anyway, this means that the three couples headed to the finale are Kirstie Alley and Maksim Chmerkovskiy, Chelsea Kane and Mark Ballas, and Hines Ward and Kym Johnson. Who's got this thing?

Dancing with the Stars Episode Recap: Monday, May 16, 2011

Dancing with the Stars ' final four duke it out for the final three with three routines, while Kym Johnson tries to overcome her neck injury. Plus: Who got the season's first perfect score? Is Brooke wearing Saran Wrap? Anyway, if you haven't heard, the injury curse has struck for the second week in a row. Kym injured her neck Friday, but has been cleared to dance. And bonus: They will exploit her injury by showing it! But first, Round 1 of three, the last of which is a Winner-Takes-All Cha-Cha worth 15 points. What do you think? Has Chelsea secured herself a spot in the final? Can Ralph make up that humongous deficit? Did you like the Winner Takes All Cha-Cha? Should they have shown Kym's injury? Will Maks ever stop pinching Tom's butt? How did Brooke mess up a coin toss? Who do you think will make the final?

Dancing with the Stars: Monday, May 9, 2011

Dancing with the Stars ' final five couples double up with two individual dances — one of which is the Instant Dance. Did anyone go 2-for-2? Plus: Did Ralph dance through the pain? I have to say, I thought the Instant Dance was going to be a hot mess last season, but lo and behold, it turned out to be one of their better half-baked ideas. So once again, everyone will find out their Latin music only 20 minutes before hitting the floor. But first: Round one is the individual ballroom dances. What do you think? How did these Instant Dances stack up to last season's? Will Ralph get the sympathy vote? Can he stick it out for the rest of the season? Has Mark finally gotten over himself? Will Len's good mood be short-lived? Do you hope Michael Bolton performs this tomorrow? Are you pumped for DanceCenter? Who do you think will get the boot?

Dancing with the Stars: Monday, May 2, 2011

Dancing with the Stars ' remaining six couples tackle two dances this week: a solo and a team number. Plus, world Latin champion Donnie Burns joins the panel as a guest judge. Who made a rise to the top? Who fell? Find out below! No theme this week, but it's still jam-packed with a bunch of dancing (or filler, depending on how you look at it). Two ballroom legends will coach the couples and 16-time (not a typo) undefeated world Latin champion Donnie Burns will serve as guest judge. Anyone else thinks he looks like Martin Short's white-haired twin? In a twist (!), we kick things off with the team cha-cha dances. The two highest scorers so far, Hines and Chelsea, picked their cohorts last week. What did you think? Did you like the legends of the ballroom? Was the episode unnecessarily long?  How much Dancing  wisdom does Donnie have? Is Kendra finally stepping it up? Has Kirstie lost it? Which Team Cha-Cha was your favorite? Did Shirley try to sabotage anyone else to prop up her golden child? How freaky are her eyes? How long before Pia and Mark are paired for Season 13? Who do you think is getting the boot tomorrow?

Dancing with the Stars Episode Recap: Monday, April 25, 2011

Don't be ashamed you watched. It's guilty pleasures week on   Dancing with the Stars   as the remaining seven couples perform to some of the catchiest tunes in history. Plus: Who fell this week? (Hint: It wasn't Kirstie.) Is ballroom dancing the biggest guilty pleasure of all, as Tom states? Before we can even ponder that, he throws another "guilty pleasure" at us — live: house band (for the night) Hanson performing "MMMBop." Let me be clear: I will defend Hanson until the end of time, so no, I do not consider "MMMBop" to be a guilty pleasure since that implies embarrassment at liking it. Is it the best song ever? No. Is it awesome? Yes. It was my jam in 1997 and it's unfortunate it has lorded over their career as a "guilty pleasure" since their follow-up material is stellar. OK, rant over. No, wait. Why is Taylor dressed like an Amish farmer? OK, rant now over. What did you think? Did you like guilty pleasures week? What are your guilty pleasures? Did Chris succumb to the pressure? Can Hanson be the house band every night? What should Hines name his pillow? Will every couple have a fall this season? Would you watch  Revenge of the Stripper: Part 1 — The Attack of the Killer Boobs ? Who do you think will get the boot? Read More...

Dancing with the Stars Episode: Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Dancing with the Stars ' American Week wraps up as one more couple is cut. Did anyone in the three-way tie at the bottom of the leader board exit the ballroom? Plus: Maks confirms he's sex on a stick. We get down to business right away (and by the way, could Brooke's dress be any tighter?) The two couples that didn't tie with anyone else face off. What did you think? Was Petra the correct boot? How miserable did Toby Keith look? Why are Anna and Jonathan so flawless? Should Hines be wary of his toothpaste? What are your guilty pleasure songs? Will next week be Mark and Pia's giant coming out party? Has Maks been dipped in a boiling pot of sex? Who's your pick to win it all?

Dancing with the Stars Episode Recap: Tuesday, March 29, 2011

After two weeks of performances on   Dancing with the Stars , it's time to eliminate the first couple of Season 12. Did Wendy or Mike overcome their low scores? Or was there a surprise?   Judging by the lack of "shocking boot" tweets from Tom, unlike in the past two seasons, I'm guessing this first elimination won't be a shocker. What is shocking: Brooke's dress. Is she encased in fancy bubble wrap? Yeesh. After a pro number featuring the new   Dancing   troupe and a recap of the three athletes' performances, it's time to get down to business. What do you think? Did Mike deserve to go? What do you think of the  Dancing  troupe? Is Kym obsessed with Hines' butt? Do you find Chelsea and Mark obnoxious? Is Tony "Sparkletooth"? Who is your early pick to win?