My mother likes to tell the story of how I tried to commit suicide by television some semi-apocalyptic California earthquake when I was six. I don't remember it, but she says I was sitting too close to the TV, watching Alvin and The Chipmunks, and did my darndest to move her hand from the center of the monitor as she tried to make sure it didn't fall on me.

That's how much I love TV.

Favorite? To have a favorite would mean that I thought some television shows were less-than-deserving of my universal love of all things amazing and amazingly bad.

I was born exactly two days after MTV premiered. I live in San Francisco, which is still bitter that 'Nash Bridges' got canceled and there's nothing filming here anymore. I Tivo Murder She Wrote . . . seriously.