I want to crawl inside of him and die...

I just wanted to take this opportunity to say that I am a fan of Michael Pitt and if I could just make out with him for five minutes, I would pay a million dollars. I realize this is not an option. I realize he is not a prostitute and would most likely not accept money in exchange for making out with someone: he is an actor, and gets paid to make films. I realize this. Furthermore, I don't have a million dollars. I have about a thousand dollars and some vintage records I bought on ebay, but that's about it. But I would pay that, if I could make out with Michael.

I just wanted to say this in hopes that he reads it and wants to be friends. And make out with me. Or not. Just friends is fine too.