'Launch My Line' recap: The series premiere!

Welcome to Bravo's Launch My Line, where successful people in careers vaguely related to fashion get to magically produce high-end clothing with just a simple boost from delusions of grandeur, a hearty sense of entitlement, and a 'fashion expert' who actually knows how to construct clothes and is going to do all the work. It's just like real life! And it's not just like Project Runway. Sure, the Frederic Fekkai Studio gives off a slight L'Oreal Paris Makeup Room vibe, but that's where the similarities end. Tim Gunn has been replaced by a low-hanging fruit cluster called 'DSquared2.' You look around 'the design studio' (not the workroom!) and suddenly an event planner named Vanessa, the love child of Lauren Ambrose and Lady Gaga, is saying 'I wanna look at a garment and have it make me cry.' Would she settle for having it make us cry at home? Across the room, a jewelry designer/part-time cowgirl named Kathy Rose is burning sage - you know, because she 'likes to have the sage flowing.' These people are so delightfully wacky! But do you really want to watch them pretend to make clothes?

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