The Vampire Diaries: Who's the Dumbest of Them All?


We're only three episodes into The Vampire Diaries, and already I have characters who I love and characters who I hate. I love Damon and Caroline...and that's pretty much it.


My problem with the rest of the cast of The Vampire Diaries isn't that they're awful characters, just that they are incredibly stupid. They all exhibit clear signs of idiocy, and if they could just cure themselves of this one ailment, they'd be a lot better.


Elena


I hate it went TV characters blatantly ignore things they see with their own eyes. Elena saw Stefan cut his hand and heal himself, she knows this is what she saw, and she also sees Damon sneak up behind her out of nowhere every chance he gets. Combine that with the quick reflexes of the two brothers, and any teenage girl who knows the name Edward Cullen would jump to the vampire conclusion right away. This girl needs to face reality and stop burying her head in the sand.


Stefan


His love with Elena is allegedly "epic." Does he not realize that, sooner or later, she's going to find out that he's a vampire? It's one of those things that's bound to come up eventually, and if I've learned anything from watching relationships on TV, it's that being up front and honest is the best policy. If Stefan really wants things to work out, he needs to stop trying to hide the truth.


Matt


There is no character I despise more than Matt, and it's because he's a total wuss. Jocks don't always need to be jerks, but they need at least an ounce of self respect or manliness. Instead, Matt was sucking up to Stefan like he wanted them to take a pottery class together. This strange new kid comes into town, steals your girlfriend and steals your football glory and your solution is to be incredibly nice? I don't think it was an herb Stefan put in Elena' new necklace, I think it was Matt's testicles.


Tyler


On the opposite side of the spectrum from Matt, Tyler is a bully for no reason. He tries to embarrass Stefan even though he has no real investment in that drama and he's constantly prodding Jeremy over Vicki. The sad part is that he doesn't actually seem to care about Vicki, he's just being a douche for douche's sake. Not cool.


Vicki


This girl needs to get off the sidelines and start playing in the love game. Obviously Jeremy is a better pick because he's cuter, smarter and has more drugs than Tyler. But Vicki still tries to play coy, wanting to string Jeremy along as a friend, probably to make Tyler jealous because seeing two men fight over her turns her on. Vicki needs to grow up and act responsibly in relationships.


Jeremy


Speaking of growing up, Jeremy also needs to stop feeling sorry for himself. Maybe I'm just really old, but back when I was in high school, the drug dealing loner wasn't the social pariah, he was the kid everyone wanted at their party, because he'd bring the drugs. He's also too cute to be geeky and, on the whole, he seems way too smart and self aware to be so miserable.


Bonnie


I actually like Bonnie for the most part and she almost made my list of characters I love, but then came the Numbers. She was dreaming of 8, 14 and 22, and then saw that Coach Tanner died in Lot 8 next to a car with the number 14 on its license plate in parking spot 22. The 8 and 22 I buy, but 14 being on a license plate isn't fate, it's a dumb coincidence. Having watched every episode of Lost, I expect Numbers to be a little more important than just license plates that happen to be near objects of importance.


Here's something that makes just as much sense: if you add up all the digits in 8, 14, 22, you get 17 (8+1+4+2+2), and that is Stefan's jersey number on the football team! See, I can make those numbers turn into whatever I want.


Yes, Bonnie is psychic, but after the serving spoon and birthday candle tricks, the appearance of these Numbers was incredibly lame.


So what's your verdict? Who is the dumbest character on The Vampire Diaries, and who are you loving?


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Comments

8 comments

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Sep 25, 2009 5:47PM EDT

Damon is automatically awesome for rollin' in a '69 Camaro; definitely ranks up there with Angel's Plymouth and Blade's Charger...

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Sep 25, 2009 5:56PM EDT

this whole show is a cheap ripoff and all it is is the cw trying to get their share of the vampire craze

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Sep 25, 2009 7:32PM EDT

I got to say, Caroline is my least favorite character. She's just...too perky. She makes me want to rip out my hair, then hers. lol
GRIMEYtheFATMAN, don't forget Dean's Impala
and
ennns: if you were in the business, you'd jump on the vampire bandwagon too, especially in this economy. There are millions of people who watch things JUST because they have vampires, and that's a good way to make money. It annoys me when people condemn shows like this because they're just "trying to get their share of the vampire craze" because, well, duh. Networks make shows that people will watch. And people are DEFINITELY watching these shows.

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Sep 25, 2009 11:56PM EDT

i totally agree with you about all the characters. elena is so frustrating, a lot of the characters are! my favourite one is damon, though because of his sarcasm and humor - love him!

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Sep 26, 2009 2:32PM EDT

"That's for me to know and you to dot dot dot." Haha, I love Damon! He reminds me a little of Spike with his sarcasm.
I really don't mind most of the characters to be honest. Though Tyler is kind of a dud. I think I know why he has it in for Stephan, but I'm not going to say. Also, Aunt Jenna could stand to be more of an adult and take her guardianship of Elena and Jeremy more seriously.
All in all, I enjoy the show. And I agree with sonopiccante, vampires are a hot trend right now and there is no reason the CW (or any network) shouldn't get on board. Look at how many medical shows there are since ER, or how many scientific/detective shows since CSI. Networks are simply going to put out what people want to watch, end of story.

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Sep 27, 2009 9:12PM EDT

I agree with you on everything except elena. face reality? He's a vampire!! that's not reality!
I especially like your assessment of Matt, and the numbers thing with Bonnie.

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Buny
Sep 30, 2009 2:31PM EDT

I like most of the characters on Vampire Diaries, Elena is quite frustrating, I agree. The one I disagree on is Matt, I think the reason why he's being super nice is because he's not trying to be juvenile about all the things Stefan "stole" from him, he seems to be bored of all the juvenile stuff especially since Tyler seems to have that on overload. I mean, to think about it the most juvenile thing you could do is to pick on the new kid just because Elena is falling for him and just because Stefan is talented.

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Oct 2, 2009 5:28AM EDT

Am I the only one who is sick of the tyler-vicki-jeremy triangle? Or just sick of those three characters in general?
Jeremy's self loathing is just f*cking irritating. STOP BEING EMO. EMO=OBNOXIOUS. Maybe stop acting like such a loser and you would be more popular with the ladies. I don't really blame them for not having much interest in this kid. His signature move is drinking and glaring at the same time. (By the way, what is with all the alcohol use with these high school kids. I mean, the occasional party, sure, but this kid is drinking all the time. Not to mention, the casual way the teenagers drank champagne at a town function.)
Vicki is seriously stupid. How many episodes will she continue in the long and glorious TV tradition of the insecure teen girl falling for the guy who treats her like crap?
Tyler is just a cliche character. It wouldn't be a high school drama without a football playing bully.
Personally, I hope these characters get smaller roles because right now they just seem like show filler and they really drag down any sense of legitimate quality that the show might otherwise have. Then again, it would just be a carbon copy of Twilight + 1 antagonist and we can't have that. God forbid the network stops pretending like the show is anything but.

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