There's a scene in the 1986 comedy Jumpin' Jack Flash in which Whoopi Goldberg's character struggles to decipher the lyrics of the movie's namesake Rolling Stones jam. Mick, Mick, Mick! Speak English! she cries, flummoxed by the meaning of the words pouring from front-man Mr. Jagger's mouth.
That hilarious moment played out in my mind during last night's episode of American Idol, because several of season 9's finalists botched the translation of the Stones' songs they were tasked with singing. Katie Stevens turned a classic tale of romantic longing into a pitch-imperfect plea for text-message votes. Andrew Garcia massaged a ferocious anti-war anthem into a puddle of meaningless pablum. Paige Miles, well... I'm still trying to make sense of her gender change-up of Honky Tonk Women. And poor, misguided Tim Urban delivered a tale of sexual domination as if he was reading a brunch menu to an aged aunt who'd left her glasses back at the rest home.
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