Crimes of the New Jersey Housewives

Last night's episode featured the extension-pull heard 'round the world, and a big explosive fight at the country club that out-crazied last season's dinnertime, table-throwing, screaming match. Wasn't it awesome? The police showed up on the scene, but no one was charged with anything (yet). In a way, though, all the Housewives are guilty of something, and here are the crimes I'm charging them with:

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