Our top TV moments of the week:
12. Heaviest Joke: What is it about Levi Johnston that makes all the ladies crazy? Kathy Griffin, who famously had a faux relationship with the Thrilla from Wasilla, pokes fun at Bristol Palin, who had a child with Johnston, while hosting VH1 Divas Salute the Troops. The acerbic comic quips that Palin is the only person in the history of Dancing with the Stars to gain weight on the show. "She gained, like, 30 pounds a week. I swear to God; it was fantastic — she's like the white Precious," Griffin snarks, drawing boos from the crowd of soldiers. All appears to be forgiven, though, when the 50-year-old comedienne shows off her rock-hard bod in a camo-bikini later in the program.
11. Words to Live By Award: In a rare moment of earnestness, self-deprecator extraordinaire David Hasselhoff gets serious on The Hasselhoffs when a student at his daughter's school brings up the "hamburger incident." Rather than brush it off or crack a joke, the actor admits that it wasn't his best moment and shares these pearls of wisdom for tomorrow's youth: "Sometimes life gives you a wake-up call. It's how fast you get up, not how hard you fall."
10. Most Misplaced Aggression: This season of Gossip Girl has been a (sometimes misguided) cat-and-mouse game between Juliet and Serena. So it's a surprise to learn that Juliet's actual target is Lily, who won't be winning any Mom of the Year awards for putting an innocent man behind bars.
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