'The Real Housewives of Miami' Season 1, Episode 3 Recap

In a perfect world we'd have Elsa, Marysol's mom, go up against the pissed-off art guy. But since we can't have that, we can at least relish the one-liners bestowed upon us by the honorary seventh Miami housewife.
Precious Elsa gems:
"You know what, I hate to tell you, but most things look good on me."
"There's nothing better looking than a macho man dressed like a girl."
"I didn't come to this country to have paper flowers."
"What does he have to wash his hands ... because what? Because he's French?"
"You're going to leave me now that I'm tipsy?"