BACHELOR PAD “Finale Challenge” Season 2 Episode 6:
Well let’s get the most important part out of the way firs—
Wait, ha ha. Silly me. I almost equated “important” with the Bachelor family of reality television programming. The Disney brainwashing—it’s working!
What I meant to say was: America’s love affair with Ashley’s morose suitor, Ben F. (that’s Flajnik to the uninitiated) will be allowed to continue, as Ben was announced as the new Bachelor. That’s right, Mr. Runner-Up, Mr. “Good things don’t end unless they end badly” (and technically he’s right—I can’t argue with that philosophy) is coming back for more pain.
But what does this mean? It means poor Ben, who was thrown onto last season’s Bachelorette show by his sister and had his heart stomped all over—has not learned a single lesson at all. Ben now has the honor of hosting a party in which 30 or so attention-starved wannabe debutantes compete for his fragile, mopey, artsy affections. I predict he winds up with a girl much like Vienna. And then jumps off a bridge. But fails to kill himself and winds up crippled for life—still bitter and even more miserable. You heard it here first, people, and it’s all his sister’s fault. Read More...