They came to bury Charlie, and was anyone surprised when it turned out to be one long ewww-logy?
That's Two and a Half Men for you: proudly crude and heartily heartless. "His body just exploded like a balloon full of meat," said Rose, and that's about as sentimental as things got. (His nephew Jake promptly piped up, "Anyone else hungry?") There wasn't a wet eye in the house during the post-Charlie Sheen/Charlie Harper season opener, which began with Alan trying to read last rites over his mangled brother's coffin, interrupted by vengeful exes rattling off a gamy litany of STD jokes and a mother more interested in finding a buyer for his Malibu manse. (Among the potential buyers: John Stamos and, in the episode's best-kept surprise, Jenna Elfman and Thomas Gibson as an embittered version of Chuck Lorre's Dharma & Greg.)