All I wanted was a little Bonnie and Clyde. You know, Katherine and Damon, road-tripping across the country, robbing banks (like they’d ever need to—Kat’s the only vampire I know who’s ever used/stolen money), killing people and causing general mayhem. And that’s what it looked like I was going to get. There was even a kiss! A kiss such as I have been waiting for since Katherine told Elena that she loved Damon, too! And it was hot! Really, really hot! And then Damon abruptly ends it, explaining: "Thought I’d give it a shot. Truth is, you just don’t do it for me anymore." My god, Damon. 145 years and it takes you a month to get over it? Come on. It does it for me! Why take away my pleasure at seeing you two together? I mean, really. Elena is SO lame compared to Katherine. So, so lame.
And, speaking of lameness, Matt is the ultimate lame-o. We’ll get to that in a second. In fact, we’ll get to it right now.
The story of Matt Donovan and his utter lameness
This is a sad, slightly pathetic tale. It begins on senior prank night, where all of our favorite children are in the high school, attempting to be normal by pranking their teachers. You see, none of them are normal: one’s a vampire, one’s a doppelganger who’s supposed to be dating a vampire, one’s a werewolf who’s soon to be a werewolf-vampire hybrid (we’ll get to that) and one’s a witch. Of course, the one normal one (Mr. Donovan himself), has forgotten about the pranking, probably due to the fact that he isn’t trying to be normal, because he is really, really normal. But he is tired of being so utterly normal! So, as of late, he has been trying to communicate with his vampire-ghost sister. And, she has been trying to communicate with him. After some failed attempts, young Matthew decides to drown himself in the high school pool so as to have an unconscious moment to communicate with Vicki. Stupid! Because even though it worked, you can’t go around killing yourself to talk to your vampire-ghost sister, especially if your witch friend Bonnie won’t always be there to save you. At least you got to talk to your sister, who may or may not be evil, according to another vampire-ghost Anna. And you got to deliver a message to Bonnie! Explaining why Klaus can’t create hybrids! Because Elena’s still alive! Um, hello? Didn’t we learn this four episodes ago? Lame, lame, lame. Read More...