'The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills' recap: No Such Thing as a Clean Slate

The good news is that Pandora didn't go with the Cadillac-sized hot pink box invitations. The bad news I suppose is that she went with a more "modest" box festooned with swan feathers. The worst news is that all these years of watching Housewives has pickled my brain so much that I thought "cute! fun!" when I saw them. Poor Madamderpump was feeling under the weather which meant, strangely, that instead of wearing an XL Giants henley and some grey sweatpants she rocked a little black dress and diamonds. At least Giggy got to wear pajamas.

The 1% moved from the sitting room to the kitchen where they sampled exploding pink cocktails while the caterer smoked his head with liquid nitrate. Giggy sampled the lamb appetizer. Kevin pushed Lisa to splurge on the shi shi shi tartare. Ken sat there looking befuddled, wondering when he would be excused so he could nap in his pram. Pandi suggested they skip the cotton candy at the reception which opened the door for Lisa to do her best imitation of Taylor's spun sugar BJs. (Taylor should teach a class! Kyle won't attend!) Jason assured his bride that the Housewives would never dare squabble at something as sacred as a wedding. Oh sweet boy, so naive. Read More...


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