The third set of American Idol auditions takes us to Charlotte, where we're promised the catfight of the decade between judges Mariah Carey and Nicki Minaj (Take THAT, Simon and Paula!). It remains to be seen how much they actually dislike each other, but we should get some serious insight into that in the next two hours. The "feud" has been largely disappointing so far, but this is apparently the week where the judges overshadow the talent (and thankfully the awful singers).
Ryan Seacrest kicks things off in a NASCAR racecar, where he cheerfully listens to Rupert Holmes' "Escape (The Pina Colada Song)" while frenzied drivers race to the finish around him. If you've never paid attention to the lyrics of that song, it is one of the most horrible songs ever written. The first line is "I was tired of my lady," and it's all about a dude who got sick of his wife, so he puts an ad in the newspaper looking to have an affair. But boy is his face red when he meets his fling in person and it turns out to be his wife. "We both hate our marriage and were totally excited to cheat on each other, but I guess this curious wrench means we're still in love!" Great message. The only song that might be worse is Foster the People's "Pumped Up Kicks," a catchy little jingle about a school shooting. But I digress.