The Bachelor Recap: Catherine Restores Sean's Faith in Finding His Wife

Please grab the hoof of your nearest goat friend (we've guilt-adopted an entire herd thanks to last night's udder violations), and join us on this beautiful journey to Canada, where Sean Lowe forces his ladies into frigid ice water and watches them turn blue like Leonardo DiCaprio circa The Titanic. Eh, guys? EH? We will never stop referencing that brilliant movie. Also good news: Sean is once agains shirtless, which means we can resume our erotic fan fiction in which we milk "goat udders"...


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