While the show reached its 100th episode mark just 2 weeks ago, tomorrow The Hills officially says goodbye for good with its season 6 (and series) finale, this Tuesday at 10/9c on MTV. Yup, that means no more Speidi drama, no more living vicariously through Audrina's many date nights and Kristin's coveted closet, and no more watching Stephanie make a fool of herself on the job, at a bar, or pretty much anywhere she sets foot. What will we ever do with ourselves?! I don't know about you, but I'm going to miss The Hills more than I'm really willing to admit to anyone other than you guys (fellow reality TV addicts) -- if not for the drama that never fails to deliver, then at least out of sheer curiosity. I'm just not ready for things to wrap up! There are so many things left unsaid, so many potential hookups left... umm... unhooked, so many loose ends to be tied, and so many questions left unanswered! So in honor of tomorrow's series finale, here are 5 things I need to know before the show dies and is sent to that big TV in the sky... or, you know, syndication.
1. Will Audrina finally tell Justin Bobby to kick rocks?
Seriously, girl. WTF. No matter how many new dudebros you bring home, somehow you always go back to JB. I'm not even going to entertain the idea that you don't watch your own show, so shouldn't you know by now that Justin Bobby is Trouble with a capital T? I mean, homeboy wears combat boots to the beach, for %$&#'s sake! WHEN WILL THE MADNESS END, Audrina? WHEN?! If I don't get some freakin' closure on this subject, I'm going to be forced to stalk you on your lame personal blog to make sure you're staying the heck away from him, otherwise I'm going to lose sleep being worried sick about your fragile mental state. Good thing you have so many other beefcakes to distract you.
2. Will they stop pretending to be friends?
We all know that these girls aren't really friends. Let's be serious. I mean, Stacie the bartender? She was like everyone's biggest enemy in season 4, and now she's like freakin' Mother Goose of the group, lurking in the corners at club outings and giving advice to everyone who needs it. How come no one ever acknowledges that she was already on the show and everyone hated her? Where did you come from? And since when do people not hate Stephanie? These girls switch "friends" faster than Audrina switches boyfriends, so for the sake of maintaining just a bit of consistency (and sanity), what I want to know is: are they all going to go their separate ways at the end of this ('cause let's face it -- they're useless without each other), or are they going to continue this strange charade of faux friends and frenemies?
3. Will Heidi's mom finally smack some sense into her?
Based on preview clips, we know Heidi's crazy mom (I'm on her side, but that doesn't mean she ain't crazy too) is back for one last on-air attempt to pull Heidi from Spencer's evil clutches. Based on her previous failed tries at saving her daughter, it's safe to say that she won't be successful this time around. Or will she? After all, we have heard plenty of rumors circulating about that Speidi is on the outs, and maybe this finale will shed a little more light on the subject. Personally, if I were Heidi's mom, I would have tracked her down and dragged her back to Colorado by her bleached blonde extensions by now, but apparently Darlene has much more faith in her daughter than I do.
4. Will they still have jobs after this?
Sorry girls, but everyone knows that you only have those cushy entertainment/music/fashion/beauty/PR jobs because of your convenient roles on one of reality TV's hottest shows. Don't even try to convince me that Audrina would have otherwise excelled at any sort of interview without the necessary hook-ups (no hate here -- connections are key, especially in LA, but I'm just keepin' it real), or that LC would have been a shoe-in for that Teen Vogue internship if she didn't already have "I'm totally famous" all over her resume after not working a day in her life. Truth be told, these girls hardly need office jobs to survive post-MTV, at least not until their Hills fund runs out or their parents finally cut them off, but still -- what's life after The Hills?
5. Is it really over?
Ahh, probably the most important question of them all. MTV told us that Laguna Beach was over for good back in the day, and just when I was done mourning the loss of such a TV gem, the network hit us up all-new seasons with these underclassmen chicks we didn't even know, trying to be the next Kristin & LC & Stephen. How dare you? Stop messing with our heads, MTV! So while you may think things are over, just watch your back -- you never know when this show might get resurrected from the dead with a new season featuring an unrecognizable cast of LA rich kids, or worse -- *gasp* -- a movie!
What will you miss most about The Hills? Weigh in below in comments!