After having suffered brain damage from previous viewings I couldn't risk watching the latest (rendition of 12 Angry Men) episode. But I can guess.
The Col. cast as the idiot, oops I mean hero, let his room be searched. Thhey found a gun on a ship with lots of guns. And somehow know it and no other gun was the murder weapon. Crazy trial ensues complete with carbon copy characters from that play, what was it called (12 angry men) in triplicate (quick original ideas need CPR) because that's what passes for drama.
But of course that alone isn't enough to make you stupid. No there has to be some off world escapade, Rush will be a dick, Eli will be useless and exhibit no common sense or loyalty (in a "real" world that shit bites you in the arse) while mooning over that girl ( who's name I can't remember). My head hurts just thinking about it.
Ten reasons this show sucks:
1. The characters. Yes all of them.
2. The emotions. Okay, this isn't supposed to replace Galactic, I get that. But Galactic was grittier and real. People loved it. Si Fi said lets do it again.... and this time we're going to really give viewers what they want: Cheese, stereotypes, melodrama, and the kitchen sink. This show has it's moments. My favorite was when the Press agent was trying to manipulate herself onto the shuttle. The dialogue was spot on. But I haven't seen that person again. Instead she's been cast as an IOA patsy. The scene when she returned to earth and conspired with her boss to start a "third camp" was typical SG1 cheese. Aside from that, there are only two emotions represented. Anger and out rage.
3. Technology more advanced than the the previous SG programs on the oldest ship. Head desk.
4. Stupid plot elements like: Lets risk life and limb for the equivalent of 100 gallons of water when there's thirty people on the ship. And obviously after the "drama" of collecting the water which involved a harrowing (I'm being sarcastic) fall through the ice (like we didn't see it coming) water is no longer an issue. And lets not forget the Col. with his "I won't leave you behind" cheesy bs. If this was a real emotional show, the Col. would have returned to the ship and wrestled with leaving the guy behind.
5. Creating asshole characters for no reason. In the Original series the bad guys were just bad, even when they were human. But this is billed as a more "real" show. Would a high ranking officer really risk his career sleeping with the Colonial's wife? And to what end? A plot element like this needs to further the story. Right now the only purpose it servers is an example of the "struggle" of a main character. This show is loaded with over the top (BS) struggles.
6. Intelligent alien life forms who are stupid enough to go into a locked barrel and too dumb to go back through the gate which is still open after being dumped in ice. Looking forward to see much more of that. (Actually I would if they'd just make this a cheesy show. What I can't stand is all crap dumped on top of the cheese. It's like a eating crackers and cheese wiz topped with excrement. Yummy)
7. The hero who wants to be heroic, while pretending this is some strong character trait. I've always hated the captain dashing off to play hero while leaving the crew the fend for itself. It's stupid. The Col. is cast as leader, and as such needs to behave like one. Right now he's a douche`.
" Someone else less important should go."
"I won't having others risk their lives."
"We need you here."
"I must go because (I'm a douche) I won't let anyone else risk their lives."
Umm Col. they army pays you to send soldiers off to get killed. By the time you achieve your rank I'd think you'd know that.
8. The writing.
Whenever there's an opportunity to have real complication and real emotions the writer/director/producer (Idiot in Charge) chooses cheese topped with excrement. For example: Eli discovers Rush lied about a planet that will allow them to go home. Reaching the planet will take a year and it the lie boosts morale. In an emotional show, the pros and cons would be weighed. The plot line would further the show. But that doesn't happen hear. Eli, too dumb to consider using this information to his advantage (and is loyalty to rush or the Col. fluctuates on a whim) reveals Rush's lie to the Col.The press agent overhears this news (she's cast in the role of skilled manipulator) and immediately tells the whole ship. To see why this is so stupid lets look at "Glee" (forgive me). In Glee the Shooster's wife lies about being pregnant. This and other plot elements are played out through each episode. Covering the lie is used to further the story, and even though all is revealed in the season finale the the show is anything but "wrapped up." But that's just was SG Universe does. They wrap up every nasty detail quickly so each episode is self contained. (Much like the previous SG shows.) The "struggle" that connects each story is more like a check list: oxygen crisis, water crisis, energy crisis, alien crisis, murder crisis. The story lines they do keep aren't really lines at all- Rush is dick. That's a character trait, not plot. Imagine how Galactica would have been different if all those messy details were wrapped up at the end of each episode and all you had to link the segments were the personalities? This week Starbuck risks her life. Next Week Apollo takes charge. Tune in to watch the chee
9. The "Wrong" people theme makes me want to gag. This was supposed to be a gripping emotional trigger. Instead it plays out like a faked epileptic seizure by an angst ridden teenager.
10. The "first shoot" special effects. This is like that story you're Uncle tells every holiday, completely unaware (even though he's been told) he's the only one who still finds it interesting.