America's Next Top Model: Hairy Scary


Wednesday night's America's Next Top Model brought big hair, big drag queens, and ''you guessed it' big drama. Are these women ever going to get along? Here's what I learned from this week's episode.


1. Getting your photo displayed as digital art is better than sex. Well, better than sex with Angelea, apparently.


2. Raina is upset because she thought Krista and Angelea were doing a 'better than everyone'' dance. It was actually a 'heartless monster' jig, but close!


3. Pat Cleveland is not above Halloween-garish fake eyelashes. Whitney Port is not above appearing on the CW.


4. When someone does you a favor, don't say “thank you.'' Just shriek.


5. Oh, wow, they got Paulina to come back. Wait, drag Paulina, not supermodel Paulina. My bad.


6. Tyra has really filled out. No, sorry, drag queen again.


7. You can't compete with a drag queen.It's true, Anslee. And they cheat at cards.


8. Miss Jay's outfit of choice for drag shows is a sparkly tux. Honestly, it was the butchest he's looked all season.


9. Alexandra is apparently proud of being the first Top Model contestant to fall off the runway. She's also the first to fall twice. Congratulations.


10. Jessica thinks Alexandra's walk is comparable to a horse trot. That notion was the first oblique reference to Alexandra's weight in this episode.


11. Things could always be worse. You could get no applause at all. Like Anslee.


12. If the elevator's not coming, you should follow Alasia's lead and keep pushing the button. Don't bother trying the stairs until after a commercial break.


13. Weaven Steven makes outfits from hair. I'm guessing the profession came before the name.


14. The stylist thinks it's funny to tease Raina about taking her eyebrows off. Honey, there's not enough hot wax in New York.


15. In a competition, you want to throw off the person on the opposite team, because there are two different teams. Because it's a competition. Thanks for clearing that up, Anslee.


16. To make a plus-sized model like Alexandra look extra fierce, give her the equivalent of a hair muumuu.


17. All of the judges are tired. Or at least they pretended to be; then there was a shepherd and sheep and they were literally catching Zs. I don't even know, you guys. I think I fell asleep for a few minutes.


18. The contestants are going to New Zealand, the fashion capital of the world. That last part probably isn't true, but the place definitely has ample wool.


19. As Alexandra's photo reminded us, ostriches can't fly.


20. After a whole episode of suck, Alexandra got to stay while Anslee was sent home, teaching us once again that life's not fair. And as it turns out, neither is Top Model.

Comments

1 comment
Default avatar cat
Apr 23, 2010 11:31AM EDT
New Zealand fashion is odd. About half of it was 6 months behind the US, and about half was 6 months ahead of the US.
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