Shaquille O'Neal vs. Justin Bieber: There Can Be Only One!

As one of the three people who watched Shaq Vs. last summer, I'm pleased to report that the show will be back and more nonsensical than ever. According to the Associated Press, Shaquille O'Neal is no longer satisfied only losing to fellow athletes. In the new season debuting Aug. 3, he'll try (and almost certainly fail) to out-cook Rachael Ray, out-magic Penn and Teller, and out-eat a competitive eater. Best of all, Shaq will be facing down his oldest enemy on the dance floor. No, not Kobe Bryant. And not that evil mummy from Shaq Fu. I'm talking Justin D. Bieber, the impish little Twitter demon your niece can't stop talking about.

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