Surely you've seen Perez Hilton's video on Funny or Die yesterday, where he officially launched his bid to be Simon Cowell's replacement on American Idol.
Let's consider his points.
"My track record for judging others is unmatched." Do not underestimate the power of Photoshop's airbrush function. Or even Paint, just Paint.
"I'm fiercely honest." Yes, in fact you're too honest sometimes.
"I can also be wacky and affable." Yes, but don't compare yourself to Ellen--she hasn't been wacky yet. Wednesday night was Kara's night and she had a punchline.
"I can be energetically neutral." Is Randy energetically neutral?
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