It was a good week for reading between the lines: Is that guy across the table scratching his nose, or doing something else? What does Ben's cast mean on Lost? And what to make of it when you wake up, feeling sticky, with a body you don't recognize? Please enjoy our Top Moments, figuring-it-out edition and send suggestions for next week to email@example.com.
9. Best Musical Cue: The conversation during Sylar and Luke's Heroes road trip gets a bit more intense than the average game of "Name that License Plate," as Sylar admits his lethal proclivities, then turns on the radio - to play Talking Heads' "Psycho Killer." (Sing along at our Online Video Guide.)
8. Closest Bird Watching: Lie to Me's Cal Lightman explains that sometimes an itch isn't just an itch - particularly when it's with your middle finger. Trying to explain the motivation behind a suspect's gesture, Lightman turns to real-world images of then-Sen. Barack Obama and former Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld scratching their faces - and perhaps venting their true feelings.
7. Happiest Surprise Return: With her husband on his way to the hospital, 24's President Taylor reaches out to her estranged daughter. But who can she trust to transport the young woman safely? Enter Secret Service hero Aaron Peirce, asking her to come with him.
6. Giddiest Handoff: In his zillionth Saturday Night Live monologue, Alec Baldwin thanks Christian Bale for replacing him as the poster boy of celebrity eruptions. This doesn't excuse the sketch about Sir Mix-a-Lot's photo shop, but funny stuff nonetheless.
5. Coolest Recovery: Ellen Tighe, fifth of Battlestar Galactica's final Cyclons, emerges from a vat of goo to find her consciousness downloaded into a new body. Actress Kate Vernon beautifully conveys Tighe's confusion, panic, and prompt acknowledgment and acceptance of her new life. Time to get peacemaking.
4. Worst Moment: Real life somehow edges out Nip/Tuck for the grisliest thing on TV this week, as 200-pound chimp Travis, star of Coca-Cola and Old Navy commercials, mauls a woman in Connecticut. In a widely played 911 recording, the chimp's frantic owner pleads for police to kill the animal she raised as her child: "Send the police up, with a gun! He's killing my friend - my chimpanzee. ... He ripped her face off!" Ugh.
3. Longest Goodbye: Trying to stretch three dates, some pretty scenery and a rose ceremony across two hours, The Bachelor has Jason spend what feels like an eternity sending Jillian back to real life. You want different things in a relationship when you're 90 than you do when you're young, she says. If they'd stretched this out any longer we could have found out.
2. Are-You-Okay Award: After preaching Jack a sermon on Doubting Thomas, Lost's Ben leaves the church to tie up a loose end with an old friend. But when we next see him, he's soaked, bloody and using a payphone at a marina. Where they have boats like the one Desmond, baby Charlie, and Penny - the woman Ben is out to kill - just took to L.A. Uh, who's blood is that? (Try to guess at our Online Video Guide.)
1. Best Tension You Could Cut with a ... Scalpel: Not even ABC's pervasive promos could undercut the edge-of-your-sofa drama when Grey's Anatomy's Derek and Addison reach a detente over whether to try to save a pregnant woman or ensure the survival of her baby. "Put your scalpel down," each demands of the other. Ultimately, Derek's derring-do does him in.