'The Bachelorette' recap: Portugal In a Storm In Lisb Season 6, Episode 7

So there we were in Portugal, setting out on THE MOST IMPORTANT PART of THE MOST IMPORTANT JOURNEY TO LOVE ever. And yet all we could think about was how Jake and Vienna were going to come on the TV after this and argue for our entertainment/tell us how their most important journey to love ever ended at a broken-down shack instead of the beautiful five-star hotel of love they thought they'd booked online. That is, metaphorically speaking.

But alas, for now we would have to settle for unfathomably beautiful Lisbon scenery and a lot of talk about how important it would be for the men to open up so as to win one of the four coveted hometown dates. (And, in fact, if you'd like to talk about Jake and Vienna, please see Michael Slezak's detailed Jake vs. Vienna analysis. A subject of such societal weight, we felt, deserves its own separate place for debate. We'll stick strictly to Ali here, as if she never had anything to do with Jake - which I'm sure she'd prefer at this point as well.) There would be four dates. All roses would be given at the rose ceremony and nowhere else. The game was truly on now.

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