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'One Tree Hill' Review: The Junkie Model Capital of the World (Season 7, Episode 9)


One Tree Hill took a depressing turn in the latest episode as things started going wrong once again for everyone. When the only moment of triumph is Dan Scott's unwavering desire for redemption, you know there's some bad stuff going on.


Brooke found out she's not pregnant (which was more of a shock than you might think) while her boyfriend would rather spend time with a junkie model and her former assistant would rather...spend time with a junkie model. Just when you think it couldn't get any worse, along comes Rachel, yet another junkie model. That's right, Tree Hill is now the Junkie Model Capital of the World!


There are three Junkie Models in this episode of One Tree Hill, each of whom deserved a serious slap from Brooke Davis. Sadly, only one got it, but who was the most slap-worthy?


Alex's Slap-Worthiness: 3/10


I know fans are probably upset that Alex is breaking up Brooke and Julian with her whiny self-loathing and possible relapse, but I honestly don't see her as that big of a threat. Julian really does love Brooke and Alex really is so messed up in the head that her threat of snorting coke wasn't a ruse to see him, it was an honest cry for help. Alex doesn't need a slap, she needs a good stint in rehab.


Millie's Slap-Worthiness: 9/10


This girl needs someone to slap the stupid right out of them, and B. Davis is the woman for the job. Not only is she partying all night and taking diet pills, but she also wore Brooke's secret new dress and, as was revealed at the end, she's taken up a nasty little cocaine habit from Alex. She's certainly come a long way from that squeaky clean virgin of a year ago. I'd like to think it's still early enough in her transformation that a slap could cure her, but I'm not sure.


Rachel's Slap-Worthiness: 2/10 (or 10/10)


This one's hard, because Rachel totally deserves to be slapped, just not by Brooke. On One Tree Hill, Brooke was so furious at all the junkie models around her that she lashed out as soon as she saw Rachel, a former junkie model. It's been so long that Brooke should at least drop the grudge, but instead, she was so amped up on Alex and Millie that she slapped Rachel, and it was completely unnecessary.


On the other hand, Rachel is an evil, manipulative beeyotch who paid a Mexican family to kill their son so she could steal his heart for Dan. She's about 17 times more evil than Dan and is certainly destroying any hopes he has of reconnecting with his family. For that reason alone, Rachel, more than anyone else on One Tree Hill, deserved to get slapped.


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