Fantasia Barrino says her recent overdose on aspirin and a sleep aid was not an accident.
"I didn't have any fight in me. I didn't care about anything. I just wanted out," Barrino told VH1's Behind the Music. "At that moment, I wanted out. I wanted it to be over with - all of it, all of that [expletive]."
The American Idol winner was hospitalized two weeks ago in what police classified as a suicide attempt.
"I just sat in the closet and looked at the mirror and took all the pills in the bottle," Barrino said. "I wanted to go to sleep and just be at peace. I knew exactly what I was doing. You can't accidentally take a whole bottle of pills."
Barrino's manager, Brian Dickens, said that he suspected something was wrong when Barrino, who had been "crying all day" texted him, "I love you." He texted her back the same thing.
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