'Bachelor Pad' recap: Sex trade Episode 5

Happy penultimate episode, rose-lovers! Can you believe we've made it this far without shooting ourselves or someone else? Kudos to you all. This week, we open with Gwen fondling the sequined rose on her t-shirt - the only rose I have, she jokes - and then comes the real shocker: Gwen is STACKED! Wow, how is this the first time I'm noticing her boobage in its full glory? Okay, sorry - here is the real bombshell: It's time to even up the numbers, and this week three ladies are going home. Kaboom! This causes a collective coronary failure among the women in the house. I'm going to have a heart attack! breathes Tenley, miraculously without crying. The back of my heart is pumping so hard right now, says Nikki. I can feel it in my bones. (I'm no cardiologist, but shouldn't her whole heart be pumping?)

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