Recaps for Masterchef

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'MasterChef' recap: Head-to-Head-to-Head-to-Head

Previously on "Cry-on Chef America," ("MasterChef") we somehow pared our way down to four final contestants. Now that we just have two hours of TV time together, let's meet them, shall we? Lee's a bartender from Los Angeles, whom the pleasantly-voiced female narrator says was always a front-runner. Except for those early weeks where we totally ignored him. Then, there's Sheetal, who was upset about having to kill a crab until she wasn't, and so here she is. You may also remember David, who the pleasantly voiced narrator scolds for "his antics." And yet here he is. And then there's Whitney who is -- and I don't think we can over-emphasize this enough -- so terribly, disgustingly young. One of them's getting $250,000 in pre-tax prize money, a cookbook publishing deal, and the title of MasterChef. The rest will never be allowed to cook again under an obscure-yet-very-enforceable federal law. To Read More  Click Here .

'MasterChef' recap: Two Chefs Enter, One Chef Leaves

Previously on "The Cook, The Thief, His Wife, & The Crybaby" ("MasterChef")... well, if you need a recap at this point, you haven't really been paying attention. David and Whitney are your two finalists. Other than some Gordon Ramsay hyperbole -- "The next two hours are the most important of your lives!" -- what else do you need to know? We shall miss you most of all, credits that spent more time on the glowering judges than on the contestants whose hopes and dreams we were supposed to give a s*** about. Gordon welcomes us to the "MasterChef" main event. We've gone from tens of thousands of amateur cooks from across this great country of ours to a parade of sadsacks and losers we further whittled down, until we were left with just two people -- Whitney, the 22-year-old student and David, the one-time software engineer and full-time chucklehead. Someone's getting an oversized novelty check by the end of tonight. Oh, and there are cookbooks involved, too. To the "MasterChef" battlestations! To Read More Click Here . If You Missed This Episode Watch It Here Online Now

'MasterChef' recap: Head-to-Head-to-Head-to-Head

Previously on "Cry-on Chef America," ("MasterChef") we somehow pared our way down to four final contestants. Now that we just have two hours of TV time together, let's meet them, shall we? Lee's a bartender from Los Angeles, whom the pleasantly-voiced female narrator says was always a front-runner. Except for those early weeks where we totally ignored him. Then, there's Sheetal, who was upset about having to kill a crab until she wasn't, and so here she is. You may also remember David, who the pleasantly voiced narrator scolds for "his antics." And yet here he is. And then there's Whitney who is -- and I don't think we can over-emphasize this enough -- so terribly, disgustingly young. One of them's getting $250,000 in pre-tax prize money, a cookbook publishing deal, and the title of MasterChef. The rest will never be allowed to cook again under an obscure-yet-very-enforceable federal law. To Read More Click Here . If You Missed This Episode Watch It Here Online Now

'MasterChef' recap: Oh Deer

Previously on "The Weepy Gourmet" (aka "MasterChef"), Lee's dish was so gosh-darn good Joe Bastianich ordered everyone to taste it so they could savor their own inferiority. Slim's dish was not good, and she was sent home. Also, she was tried in absentia for crimes against crab-manity. Then, the amateur chefs catered a wedding because the happy newlyweds are apparently dunces who can be talked into anything. Both Tracy and Jake were made to pay for their sins. Who will fall tonight as the six remaining cooks are winnowed down to four? To Read More Click Here . If You Missed This Episode Watch It Here Online Now

'MasterChef' recap: The Souffle Also Rises

Previously on "No Reservations (About Crying)" (aka "MasterChef"), the would-be chefs were asked to make dessert, and Sheetal, Lee and Mike all failed. But no one failed more than you, Mike. So take your hats and get out. Which leaves us with five. Credits! Contestants look hopeful and nondescript. Judges glare and get most of the screen time. Take-away lesson: keep that frown upside down. We catch up with our amateur chefs in picturesque Marina Del Rey. They are tasked with serving a fish dish to "three of the most powerful food critics in America." Far be it from us to correct the pleasant-sounding lady who narrates this show, but that makes it sound like food critics have the power to get us into pre-emptive wars or at least sway the prices of zinc, as opposed to telling me whether or not the halibut's overcooked at the local fish house. Anyhow, to make sure that the contestants are using as fresh a protein as possible, they're going out to sea to catch the star ingredient of their entrée. We think we're going to need a bigger boat. To Read More Click Here . If You Missed This Episode Watch It Here Online Now

MasterChef ep 6

Every single one of them are ep 5 and not damn 6. :(

'MasterChef' recap: Go fish Episode 5

The 11 main contestants saunter into the "MasterChef" kitchen. David says he's still "kind of blown away that I'm actually here." That makes two of us, my man. But he's "loving every second of it." Well... the cheese stands alone, I guess. Anyhow, Gordon informs us it's a new day -- and with a new day comes a new Mystery Box Challenge. Remember the time-honored rules of the Mystery Box Challenge as they were handed down a week ago: contestants have to prepare one dish using the ingredients inside the box. But what could be inside the box? Jake hopes it's seafood. (Mr. Sobell hopes the mystery box is properly refrigerated if it is.). Tracy hopes it's eggs, flour and sugar -- somebody wants to do some baking. (Someone should have auditioned for "Top Chef: Just Desserts," then.) Enough of this banter -- lift up your boxes. Oh, my God, it's manatee! No, wait, I'm mistaken. It's eggs, flour, milk, sugar, and butter. Tracy spins around happy. You would too if you were clairvoyant. To Read More Click Here . If You Missed This Episode Watch It Here Online Now

'MasterChef' recap: Eat where the truckers eat

n this episode, the would-be chefs have been transported a hundred miles away from the "MasterChef" kitchen to a particularly barren hellscape in the California desert. Or perhaps this is what a preview of what all of California will look like if our present budget woes continue. "Who knows what's going to happen?" David wonders aloud. Well, considering they dropped you cats down next to a burnt-out husk of a diner, I would think that cooking is in your immediate future. But before the contestants are required to think to hard about that concept, a semi-truck pulls up and Gordon, Joe, and Graham pop out of the cab. The contestants shriek and applaud. I dearly hope that the producers have ordered them to applaud enthusiastically anytime Gordon emerges from a motorized vehicle, because otherwise, they are giving the impression that America's first MasterChef is easily enthralled by motor vehicles. Gordon has brought them out to this arid wasteland to cook for "the people who are the backbone of this country." What, call center workers in Bangalore? No, stupid -- truckers. One hundred truckers, as a matter of fact, who will be served what Graham calls the ultimate truck stop dish -- hamburgers. Better luck next challenge, vegetarian truck drivers of America. To Read More Click Here . If You Missed This Episode Watch It Here Online Now

'MasterChef' recap: War is Hell's Kitchen Episode 4

Previously, on "It's My Party and I'll Cry If I Want to ..." ("MasterChef") well, Fox aired this one right after Episode No. 4, so if you need a reminder of what just went down, you have either suffered a recent brain injury or you're employed on the executive team at FOX. The two are not mutually exclusive. Anyhow, two people got sent home, leaving us with 12 people vying for the MasterChef title. That should be good enough, right? To Read More Click Here . If You Missed This Episode Watch It Here Online Now

'MasterChef' recap: Orange You Glad I Didn't Pick Mushrooms?

Previously on "Eat, Pray, Cry" (aka "MasterChef") the judges continued to pare down the initial glut of would-be chefs from hundreds to 30 to 14. And there was much rejoicing. For our purposes, rejoicing also looks like weeping. Oh, and if the previews of the season to come are any indication, we are in for a series of untold culinary disasters. On the bright side, "MasterChef's" producers are beginning to intersperse shots of actual contestants among the now-familiar glimpses of Gordon and Graham and Joe looking fussy. There's Jake, the construction worker. And Whitney, who is far too young to ever consider cooking unlike that other 22-year-old who's still in the competition. And then there's Faruq, followed by Tracy, who gave up being a doctor, and Sharone, who gave up a "six-figure salary" to be here," and Jenna, who sold her children to slave traders to be on the show. What's that? Oh, they're just at home. Still, my version was more dramatic. Anyhow, the eight other people on this show are apparently not interesting enough to merit face time. To Read More Click Here . If You Missed This Episode Watch It Here Online Now