ONN Newsroom

For the day's most important stories, turn to the Onion News Network newsroom, where the nation's most-trusted reporters bring you headlines from around the world.
For the day's most important stories, turn to the Onion News Network newsroom, where the nation's most-trusted reporters bring you headlines from around the world.

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Previous Episodes
Watch ONN Newsroom Season 3 Episode 14 - Congress Announces Plan To Hide Nation's Porn From Future Generations

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Congress hopes the Pornographic Media Concealment Act will ensure a lasting, respectable legacy for our nation, unmarred by the massive quantities of filthy porn we regularly consume.
Season Finale
Watch ONN Newsroom Season 3 Episode 13 - Man Attempts To Assassinate Obama, 'But Not Because He's Black Or Anything'

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Suspect Alex Croft, who has a ton of black friends, planned to kill Obama because of his socialist agenda—not because of his skin color.

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