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Stephen Colbert: A&E ‘Just Lost ‘Duck Dynasty’s’ Massive Black and Gay Audience’ (Video)

Stephen Colbert ended his final 2013 show on “a furious note,” as “Duck Dynasty” star Phil Robertson continues to be chastised by the liberal media for anti-gay comments he made in a recent interview. “This is a terrible day for Americans, though admittedly, a pretty good day for ducks,” Colbert snapped on Thursday. The “Colbert Report” host sarcastically admitted that Robertson’s well-documented homophobic and racially insensitive statements to GQ magazine are not “the eloquent speech you might expect from a backwoods Louisiana bird murderer,” but the conservative comic character is still on the side of our two greatest publications used to defend the man: the Bible and the Constitution.   Read More... http://www.thewrap.com/phil-robertson-duck-dynasty-stephen-colbert-report-comedy-central-gq-a%26e

Stephen Colbert on ACSI Results: ‘The Free Market Has Spoken, and It Said, ‘F— You.” (Video)

American corporations: want to boost the company stock price? Treat your customers like crap, Comedy Central host Stephen Colbert opined on Wednesday. The American Customer Satisfaction Index results are in, and the top ranker is Mercedes-Benz — “The Cadillac of cars,” Colbert quipped. However, an analysis of that analysis, conducted by Bloomberg Businessweek, indicates that high customer satisfaction might actually be bad for business.  Read More... http://www.thewrap.com/colbert-report-comedy-central-acsi-mercedes-time-warner-cable

Stephen Colbert: FBI Webcam Spying is a Breakthrough for Internet Porn (Video)

The National Security Agency is taking its snooping virtual by infiltrating online games such as “World of Warcraft,” according to new documents leaked by the Military Industrial Complex’s favorite thorn in the side, Edward Snowden.  Some may see the agency’s moves as a disturbing violation of privacy, but Stephen Colbert hailed the spying group’s actions as an exciting breakthrough for espionage on Monday’s edition of “The Colbert Report.” “Folks, the NSA is just doing their job, and they’re just doing it in more places than you ever imagined,” Colbert said. ”That’s right — the NSA is spying on ‘Second Life,’ a game for people who don’t have a first one.” Read More... http://www.thewrap.com/stephen-colbert-nsa-webcam-spying-breakthrough-internet-porn-video/

Stephen Colbert and Megyn Kelly Agree: Santa Is White (Video)

Stephen Colbert has come to Fox News host Megyn Kelly’s defense, agreeing that not only is Santa Claus white, but Jesus was, too. Kelly has been mocked for telling “all you kids watching” her Fox News show that Santa Claus is white, in response to a Slate piece arguing that Santa need not be an old white man . She also made the clumsy case that Jesus is white, too.   Read More.... http://www.thewrap.com/stephen-colbert-megyn-kelly-agree-santa-white/

Stephen Colbert Releases Obamacare Christmas Carol Parodies (Video)

The tortured roll-out of Obamacare put Stephen Colbert in a musical parody frame of mind, and he has Mike Huckabee to thank for it. Last Saturday, the former Arkansas governor turned Fox News host had a group of carolers on his program to take satiric swipes at the president’s healthcare law to the tune of the “12 Days of Christmas.” The results — with lines like “on the first day of Christmas, Obamacare gave to me a doctor I can’t keep” — had the humor-impaired in stitches. “Folks that is a great song to parody because everyone knows jokes get better the more times you repeat them,” Colbert said. “It’s what comedians call the rule of twelves.”  Read More... http://www.thewrap.com/stephen-colbert-releases-obamacare-christmas-carol-parodies-video/

Colbert on ‘Who Needs a Raise When You Have TV?’ Column: ‘You’re Welcome, Middle Class’ (Video)

Stephen Colbert had some grim news for the middle class on Tuesday’s “Colbert Report.” “So income hasn’t changed since the 80s. Neither has a lot of things — just look at Rob Lowe,” the host joked. Plus, the newly opening Washington, D.C., branch of Walmart has received over 23,000 applications for just 600 jobs, Colbert reported, making it more selective than Yale.   Read More... http://www.thewrap.com/colbert-chides-thanks-bloomberg-article-who-needs-raise-tv

Stephen Colbert Explains ‘Hobbit: Desolation of Smaug’ Role to Letterman (Video)

Keep an eye out for Stephen Colbert in “The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug” in theaters this weekend, because he’s “kind of the breakout star.” The “Colbert Report” host appeared on CBS’ “Late Show with David Letterman” on Monday and teased his cameo in the sequel to 2012 hit “The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey.”   Read More... http://www.thewrap.com/the-hobbit-the-desolation-of-smaug-stephen-colbert

Stephen Colbert Slams Rick Santorum’s Mandela Comparison: ‘Yes, Obamacare Is America’s Apartheid’ (Video)

While many called Nelson Mandela “Madiba” or “Tata,” Stephen Colbert and his “inner-circle” had another affectionate nickname for the beloved South African leader: “Nutella.” “Rich, creamy, chocolate-hazelnut justice,” Colbert eulogized.   Read More... http://www.thewrap.com/stephen-colbert-rick-santorum-nelson-mandela-obamacare-apartheid

Stephen Colbert Tells Female Voters to Dig the GOP ‘Sausage Fest’ (Video)

The Republican Party is suffering from some serious lady troubles, and they’re not the kind that, as Stephen Colbert put it on Thursday’s “The Colbert Report,” can “be solved with a quarantine tent.” According to an ABC/Washington Post poll, 63 percent of women have an “unfavorable” view of the GOP. The damage is partly attributable to statements that certain Republicans such Rep. Todd Akin made about rape that women found insensitive or clueless. However, Colbert was still puzzled. “I don’t get it,” Colbert said. “Over 90 percent of congressional Republicans are dudes. Ladies, it’s a sausage fest.”   Read More... http://www.thewrap.com/stephen-colbert-tells-female-voters-dig-gop-sausage-fest-video/

Stephen Colbert: Do-Nothing Congress Does Something for Chimps (Video)

Hold off before you claim the current Congress hasn’t accomplished anything, Stephen Colbert says: They’ve come together on an excellent retirement plan for chimps. On Wednesday’s “The Colbert Report,” Colbert noted that, okay, technically this is the least-productive Congress in history. But that’s only if you go by such criteria as the number of laws they’ve passed.   Read More... http://www.thewrap.com/stephen-colbert-nothing-congress-something-chimps-video
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