Recaps for The X Factor

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THE X FACTOR UK “Rock Week” Review

THE X FACTOR  UK "Rock Week" Season 8 Live Show 3 – Yes, it’s rock week. Which means we’ll have a lot of girls in leather, a lot of flashing lights  and head banging to a lot of The Calling. Marcus is first up and he’s showing us that girls aren’t the only ones who wear leather. He sings whatever song he’s singing quite well. But I still can’t help staring at my fingernails while he’s performing. I think I should stop biting them. I’m not six, after all. Oh my god, someone’s dying on tv! No, wait, it’s just Marcus squalling. Gary really likes it. Janet takes on Sweet Child O’ Mine and moves on the stage and they replace Slash and his silly guitar solo with a harpists. Much cooler. "If I stare too long, I’ll probably break down and croyoy." Sami takes on Cher and she’s concentrating on performing with her core and glaring at the tv audience with a look of "If you don’t vote for me I’ll show up at your door and fuck you up. All nine million of you bitches are done for if I don’t get through." I was unaware Cher was a rock legend. Read More...

THE X FACTOR UK “Results Show 2? Review

THE X FACTOR  UK "Results Show 2? Series 8 – Last week I prayed that the group song numbers would be reinstated into the show, and guess what? They totally were! And it was amazing, in that corny, lip-sync, swaybot dancing sort of amazing. There’s a lot of montages, of course, and commercials, of course, and Nu Vibe have wandered onstage…oh, wait, hold up. It’s not Nu Vibe, it’s actually The Wanted, who are supposedly a band with credentials. A quick confirmation  from my sister, and yes, apparently The Wanted are a thing. I feel really old. Katy Perry sings The One That Got Away, and it’s pretty obvious she’s trying to emulate a raunchy Taylor Swift, what with the patriarchy undertones and faux guitar playing and famous country singer namedropping (though she does mention booze, shock and horror). Without the pyrotechnics and fireworks, it’s a pretty disappointing performance  from Katy Perry. If she’s not squirting cream out of her breasts, I honestly don’t know how to react. Read More... //

THE X FACTOR UK “Live Show 2? Review

THE X FACTOR  "Live Show 2? Series 8 -After last week saw the pretty unfair elimination of Amelia and others by the judges hands, this week the top twelve battle it out with Love and Heartbreak Theme Week to stay in the competition. It’s set to be a show longer than the entire run of Shoah, and even more depressing, so let’s get started! Nu Vibe – Tulisa is trying to force them to be likable, but even With Or Without You, the sappiest love song known to man, can’t save this band. Sami –  Whitney  Housten? Really? I almost think she should be disqualified just for singing Whitney. Craig – He’s singing Beyonce’s Best Thing I Never Had and it’s a ridiculously shaky, weirdly stiltedperformance  involving a lot of looking at the camera like a drunken pervert. The judges of course love it, though Kelly points  out that the song choice is poor. Read More... //