'The Secret Life of the American Teenager': Secrets and lies and foolishness

"The Secret Life of The American Teenager" has more secrets running around than you can shake a stick at, and they don't all revolve around the American teenager. At some point they're going to need to start issuing a scorecard and program with the show. It's just great, isn't it?

I can't imagine what world Amy lives in that she really thinks that she can go to Italy. That whole thing about "exposing" John to other cultures almost sounded like she believed, almost. Plus, Ricky was right, Amy can't take John out of the country without Ricky's permission. She could lie to Passport Control and say that Ben was the father, and that seems like the kind of thing she would do, but breaking a federal law like that may be a worse idea than her quitting her daycare job to go to Italy. And that, friends, is a terrible idea.

I think though that I'm beginning to understand where Anne is coming from a little bit more when she tries to do things like get Amy to make her eggs. Anne definitely comes across a little harsh and whiny from time to time, but it seems as though she's just doing it to make Amy hear what she, Amy, sounds like. Or, it could be that Anne's just as irresponsible as Ricky's foster mom thinks she is.

Ummm - I don't know how to ask this, but is Betty still a "woman of the night?" Does she still work in the "oldest profession?" Is she still "sleeping with men who leave cash on the nightstand and who tip her based on her performance in that piece of furniture that generally sits next to the nightstand?" I'm only asking because when Ben asked Betty about her arrival time in court she flubbed the answer and then there was that conversation later with Tom. Obviously she's not a court reporter, but that doesn't necessarily mean that she's still getting paid to do what they can teach you all about in Bologna. Can you imagine what the conversation between Leo and Ben is going to be once Ben finds out about Betty's job (whether it's current or not)?

Ricky. He wants to be legally emancipated and thinks that his being a 16-year-old father shows that he's all grown up? Call me kooky, but it's kind of odd to use teenage pregnancy as an explanation of just how responsible you are. Yes, it's great that he's trying to work more over the summer and Leo's getting him an apartment is nice (especially such a huge place), but that doesn't mean that he ought to be emancipated.

Why did Grace tell everyone that George lied about the vasectomy? George helped her when she was feeling horrific, gave her a shoulder to cry on, and that's how she repays him? That girl is going to completely mess up my plans for George and Anne getting back together, and that's not the sort of thing I can accept. I don't know what I'm going to do about it, but it's not going to be pretty.

Ben telling Amy about the vasectomy was wholly predictable, as was sadly the fact that he'd do it in awkward, horrible fashion. Far less predictable was the fact that Ashley would back her father's vasectomy lie to Amy. There's going to be a reckoning in that household awfully soon.

Odds and ends:

* I love that Alice and Henry both agreed that Henry should go to Bologna to get "trained." You know you loved it too. Those two are still my favorite characters (save Reverend Stone) on the show.

* What is up with Adrian's need for the house next to Amy so that she can be with Ricky? Holy mackerel, that girl has a one track mind and it's definitely on the wrong track.

* I can't even touch on the idiocy of David's idea of ditching Amy and John and moving out of town. Idiocy. Complete idiocy.

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