Better Off Ted Episode 9 Recap: "Bioshuffle"


We don't care how nice it is outside in the summer. We're eternally grateful to ABC for bringing us new episodes of Better Off Ted and giving us an excuse to sit on our couches.


Last night's episode was one of the funniest in the series history, as we saw the whole office do a little shuffle when the company's biocomputer, Johnny, sprung a hazardous leak.


Linda Notices Something


The situation led to Ted office rooming with Linda and then Veronica, and a beautiful girl, Lucy, sharing an office with Lem.


Now read some of our favorite Better Off Ted quotes from the episode.


Phil: Why don't you go talk to her?

Lem: Talk to her? Would you talk to a rainbow or a sunset?

Phil: If I wanted to get it on with refracted light, I would.

Lem: If only I was a worm. i could cut myself in two and date my lower half.

Phil: We all wish we were worms, Lem, but that's never going to happen


Ted: Yes, a biocomputer. It's half machine, half living organism. If you think that sounds creepy, you should see it at feeding time.


Veronica: You did this, Phil. And to recognize your efforts, we're promoting you to Senior Lab Associate.

Phil: Oh, I was promoted to that a year ago.

Veronica: Really? You shouldn't have been. You probably owe the company some money. I'll check into that for you.

Phil: Thank you


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