'True Beauty' recap: Anyone for crabs? Season 2, Episode 4

First of all, I'm sorry. I could just spend this whole post listing all the ways in which the image to your right is wrong, and how I should be fired for making you look at it when all you wanted to do was read PopWatch, a website usually not infested with crabs (we have our good days and our bad, y'all), and for making sure Michael Slezak was cc'ed on my photo request even though he totally didn't need to be. But instead I think I'll just recap last night's episode of ABC's True Beauty. I've been thinking about it, and this is definitely what I should be doing with my life. I used to have better career aspirations. I used to wanna be a novelist! I coulda been 'The Face of Vegas! But this is it for me, dawg. Pass the mallet.

This week's True Beauty involved two challenges. For the Inner Beauty challenge, the 'Beauties' were supposed to help Emily, a fake assistant who had fake-lost her engagement ring, dig through some goopy trash to find that hidden gem. Amy, Erika, and Taylor dug through trash for this faker baker. Michelle looked everywhere, too. She was on her hands and knees she really cared, said judge Carson Kressley. Liz sat there and said, I feel sorry for you; Craig said, Good luck. I hope you find it. That sucks; David yawned and walked out of the room. I didn't fly out here to help a girl find her ring and lose the show, explained everyone's least favorite DJ/Astrologer, who generally seems like he's just taken a cinder block to the head. Not the way he looks (he's a Beauty after all), just his perception of the way the world works. Oh, god, the whole thing was so stupid.

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