Shaq Vs season premiere: Extracurricular Shaq-tivities

I consider myself a being from another planet, said Shaq proudly, as he stalked across Dale Earnhardt Jr.'s private compound, asked a statue of Forrest Gump for directions, and attempted in vain to ride a fake horsie. Welcome to the weird and wonderful world of Shaq Vs: gonzo vanity project, lusciously silly American bizarro-world, and probably the closest we'll ever come to a real-life Celebrity Deathmatch. The second season kicked off last night, and besides speeding up the proceedings considerably two competitions per episode seems to be the new norm - the season premiere taught us a load of important life lessons.

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