'The Bachelor' 14 Episode 4 Recap: Mr. Dateless Wants A Wife

Tonight on the fourth episode of The Bachelor: nine women remain with Jake Pavelka, and it's time for a "romantic RV adventure," which is a phrase usually designated for couples who are 65+, right? Jake will go on three dates this week: a 1-on-1 in a vineyard, a tense 2-on-1 dinner, and a 6-on-1 beach day where he will ask the group to "get dirty." (Now that's a phrase I don't want to hear come out of my RV-driving Grandpa's mouth.) Here we go!

But before we get to that, I'd like to apologize to everyone who decided to play my original Bachelor Drinking Game tonight, even though it was so fun and clever and abso-freakin-lutely accurate. Turns out it was TOO accurate, and anyone who followed half of the rules probably isn't reading this right now because you're so friendly with the bottom of your toilet bowl that you've named it Karen, and you just whispered to Karen that she's your "only friend," because you are drunk, and drunk people make very little sense. I'M SORRY! (But we should still play again next week, please? You won't even remember this tomorrow!)

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