The Bachelorette to Reveal "Every Guy's Worst Nightmare" in the Bedroom? Don't Hold Your Breath.

When I sat down to write this, I was going to go all out in some commentary on the goings-on in last night's episode of The Bachelorette, in which Ed opted out of the competition, and more suspicious noses seemed committed to sniffing out Wes's snakey trail, but I think all my juice on these matters have been fully transcribed in the recap, if you care to read them.

And if you, like me, care enough about The Bachelorette to go around reading spoiler blogs and analyzing screencaps (I'm sorry), you know these matters are sort of irrelevant because (SPOILERS, kind of):

Wes is not going to win. (Jillian's basically said as much herself.)

Ed is going to come back. (Hello! Magazine showed us as much.)

If you have no idea where I'm getting these notions from, and you're dying to know, click through on those links above. Or... just think about it. How does a great dramatic tale work? The villain (Wes) is always vanquished in the last act, not the middle of the play! And he certainly doesn't get the princess. And what of the guy who had to abandon the princess for a "noble" mission, but who kept a token of her love (a rose, maybe?) on his journey? It's called foreshadowing, ladies. Ed is now poised to either crawl back to Jillian only to have her reject him for his disloyalty... or to have her forgive him for leaving and declare that his time away made her realize he was the man for her. Either way, high drama. And it really is, like Chris Harrison has been prepping us, unlike anything we've seen before on The Bachelor(ette).

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