Wipeout Has Gotta Hurt!


How do these people not end up in traction?!


Seriously, there were a few moments last night during Wipeout that looked like the players should have been bleeding from their ears. The sushi lady slammed into the Shape-Shifter with plus-sized force and shook it off like she was used to being slapped with a Dragon Roll. And that veterinary student in the disco getup, the one who said he was "gonna neuter the Big Balls," took a giant orb on the Shake-A-Lator that would have crippled a eunuch. Yet there they went, running the rest of the course with nary a limp or whimper.


Not that we need to see them suffering. After all, this has always been one of the summer's greatest treats and some of that fun would be lessened if there were actual injuries. But can someone please tell us how, in a meager life vest and maybe a helmet, the contestants—many of whom are not the picture of physical fitness—are able to bounce off of giant foam structures, splash into freezing water and endure full-face Sucker Punches, without even chipping a tooth?


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