'Jersey Shore' recap: Wifed Up Season 2, Episode 8

Last night's special episode of Jersey Shore started with Angelina walk-of-shaming away from Vinny's increasingly-popular bed. Maybe he realized that he was becoming the human incarnation of the Community Smush room, because Vinny decided to make a change. He met a nice girl in the club, and purposefully did not make moves to smush, smash, or slam. This is the kind of girl you take out on a date, he explained, sounding like an archeologist describing the lost city of Atlantis. Alas for our poor openhearted Vin, Ramona the dancer turned him down. Twice. He got flowers, and he got a haircut, but he had no girl. All wifed up with nowhere to go.

All the action was orbiting around Vinny last night. Snooki was upset that Angelina hooked up with Vinny so soon after she did. (Snooki bestowed this zinger upon our virgin ears: Obviously, she's a loosey-goose, because she got it in.) The Situation was also upset... but only for reasons of science. According to him, Angelina's refusal to hook up with Jose, even after he spoiled her with watches and non-douchebaggery, proved definitively that nice guys finish last. Angelina has proven the Ho Equation, concluded Dr. Sitch, PhD.

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