Episode Recap: Auditions, Jacksonville


More Idol hopefuls flooded into Jacksonville, aka Randy's hometown, dreaming of a chance to have their story told, or receive "yeses" from their beloved judges, or to hold a golden ticket in their hand. Or, if you're Bikini Girl, your dream is to have a chance to mack on Ryan Seacrest.


Randy and the judges are driven to the auditions with a fancy police escort (which annoys Simon because he's not getting the attention). As Ryan tells us that Jacksonville is where our Dawg got his start in life, Journey's "Don't Stop Believing" floats softly through the segment. Because we need to be reminded for the 1000th time that Randy played with Journey. Let's just skip to the auditions now, shall we?


Best Auditions

Joshua Ulloa: Not only does he "look like Justin Guarini," he also has some fun with audition, and more importantly he can sing. He is a tad over the top, but he has me at the "Wah, wah, waaaah" opening to Marvin Gaye's "Let's Get It On."

Julissa Veloz: All together now, "RRRRRRRRRR" (lame attempt at sexy "r"-rolling). This hot tamale doesn't have the greatest voice, but we dig her spirit.

Jasmine Murray: She is adorable (beautiful, really) and could really belt out Fergie's "Big Girls Don't Cry."


Most Awesome Meltdown

Darin Darnell: After his friend got cut, he could barely even begin his song he was so moved by grief (dude, it's just an audition!)... and maybe he should have stayed silent.


Best Girls Just Wanna Make Out Moment

After Simon and Randy said "yes" to the Shih Tzu-girl (aka Sharon Wilbur), Kara and Paula: A) needed a moment to think about her performance, or B) pretended to make out in order to stall answering the question. I think you all know the answer.


WTF Is Going On Moment

How did this happen? Before Naomi Sykes even has a chance to butcher "Loving You," her friend ends up in Randy's lap, Paula ends up in Simon's lap (mmm hmm) and Ryan ends up sitting in Kara's lap. Is this high school, or freakin' Idol? When Naomi gets to sing, it's pretty awful, and they ask if she's joking. Haven't they already learned that these people are never joking? Naomi dissolves into tears, but at least she gets a group hug from Randy, Paula and Kara out of the deal.


Best Lines from the Judges

Simon: It was kind of like Inspector Gadget [was singing].

Kara: My job isn't done here until Simon tries something on me.

Kara: I have a question: Do you have ants in your pants?


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