On this week's Two and a Half Men, the inhabitants of the Malibu beach house try to establish who rules the roost. Charlie maintains that he does because he bought it. Alan feels he should have some say in it because he pays rent (sort of). The girlfriends have their own ideas. In the end, the real king of the kingdom turns out to be the one person who doesn't even live there.
Last week, while Charlie dealt with his moral crisis, Melissa quietly moved in. She was so quiet, in fact, that Charlie wasn't even sure it even happened. This week, she makes her presence loud and clear. She wants to bring her bed in, but gets some resistance from Alan who realizes that it could be a slippery slope - how can he pretend she doesn't live there if she starts bringing in furniture? Melissa thinks it's a matter of Alan not asserting himself.
Meanwhile, we learn that Charlie wasn't as oblivious as he seemed. He knows about the new living arrangements and isn't happy about it. Even worse, Chelsea sees no harm in having Melissa in the house. In order to persuade him to lighten up and allow it, she uses the guilt-trip line "I know you'll do the right thing." The only problem is that Charlie rarely knows what the right thing is (his words, not mine).
Once Alan is given the OK, he goes way overboard (so unlike him). He and Melissa hijack the answering machine, the fridge, and eventually the entire house. When Charlie and Chelsea walk into a raging party, all hell breaks loose. Charlie is so infuriated about all the strangers in his house that he actually tries to get them out by using the tried and true parenting technique: counting to five. Unfortunately for him, he's dealing with a room full of adults who obviously don't know what happens when you get to five. Of course, Charlie doesn't know either, so he up and takes off for a hotel.
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