Recap: "The Ones"

Thursday's 30 Rock is about Jack, Jenna and Tracy realizing that they've found their perfect mates: "the ones." Jack wants to propose to Elisa, but she has a secret. Jenna wants to reconnect with her one heterosexual fan, even it means killing Kenneth in the process. And Tracy has a terrible secret as well: He's faithful to his wife.


Sadly, the TGS staff is deprived of Sno-Balls this week, because of a staff allergy to coconut. Liz thinks allergies are psychosomatic, but Kenneth reports that if he has a strawberry, his throat shuts up faster than a girl in math class. Jenna chimes in: "If my cousin Stephanie eats a walnut, her throats shuts up faster than a Filipino at..." Liz cuts her off, leaving me, shamefully, to wonder what the end of that sentence was.

The writers rebrand themselves as "The Pranksmen." (They even wear matching fedoras with feathers!) First victim: Lutz, who falls prey to the old put-a-mouse-in-a-donut-box gag. Classic! He runs into a wall and knocks himself unconscious, and then a flat-screen falls on him. "Because of what you did, we almost lost a monitor," Pete says, scolding the Pranksmen.

A handsome EMT shows up, and he's a big fan of Jenna's, and he's not even bi-curious!

He has all her albums, even the one she did with Phil Spector. "I still think that would have sold better if he had shot me in the face," is Jenna's timely reply. Jenna is called away, because Us Weekly is reporting that her animal shelter is providing quesadilla meat to amusement parks, so she never gets the guy's number, because a woozy Lutz eats it by mistake.

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