'The Real Housewives of New Jersey' recap: Get a life Season 2, Episode 6


Good grief, why won’t these Housewives leave me alone? They’re always after me, turning on my television set. They won’t stop bothering me and they never give me a moment of rest so I can try to better educate myself by reading a book or watching a smart person show like Breaking Bad. You know what Housewives? I have a life. No, I have a great life! So just back off Housewives, stop obsessing over me, stop writing 2000 words a week about me, stop watching weekend marathons of me.


I wish the rest of this delusional recap wasn’t about Danielle, but alas there are only so many pictures I can paint of Gia’s party clown voice coach or the disdain a waiting room full of Christian Slater fans felt for Teresa. Instead there were scenes of Danielle alone in her kitchen with her trapped animals, willing her green phone to ring dammit while lamenting over the Manzo family’s supposed obsession with her. With every episode, the woman grows ropier, more sinister, and ever more tedious. She’s even exhausting poor Kim G., who was dying to trash the woman over pedicures. “So there I’m sitting there at the Chateau, trying to enjoy a nice pedicure,” says Jacqueline. Welcome to the world of Jersey nouveau riche, ya’ll!


“I’m so drained, I’m exhausted,” moans Kim G. Later the woman - what is off about her? is it medication? is it an affection for afternoon cocktails? a simple case of the dum dums? - confronted Danielle while the two were getting their hair done for Danielle’s first adult birthday party. (Who else here worried this was in regards to theme not age?) It’s just that Kim G. isn’t so sure about Danny, see, and maybe next time the man could not call her son’s best friend a faggot? Sip, sip. “I am a gay advocate!” Danielle said with ridiculous self-importance. “I was extremely offended but I was being protected that moment in the lion’s den.”


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