'Bachelor Pad' Recap: Kiss and Throw Up

Aaaand, we're back. Where last week's Bachelor Pad got mired in excruciatingly idiotic strategy sessions between the "insiders" and the "outsiders," this week's episode brought forth the elements we were all hoping for in the first place on this summer sleaze-fest:

Crying. Romance. Rejection. Overnight dates. Massages. Topless parties. A kissing contest. (Once just an apt metaphor for the show concept, now a literal activity.) Back-stabbing. (Unfortunately not literal.) One person calling another person "the modern day Shakespeare" when he or she is so clearly NOT the modern day Shakespeare. Also, no speedos. Hurray!

You're lucky I've got nothing else to watch and no moral compass left to guide my hand on the remote, Bachelor Pad. But thanks for getting back to making me sick in a good(ish) way.

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