'Jersey Shore' recap: Reunion Time, Oh Yeah!

Jersey Shore can be a depressing show, but usually, that depression is bizarrely invigorating, like an episode of In Treatment or one of Dashboard Confessional's three good songs. As the housemates re-enact their nightly ritual of loudly pointless decadence -- dress, drink, dance, fight, dance-fight, drink more, undress, smush, smush-fight -- you invariably find yourself giggling. You could make the argument that everyone on Jersey Shore is an awful person, but they go about their awfulness with the wit and verve of a league of evil supervillains. (Sitch is Lex Luthor, Pauly D is the Joker...) In the last month, every single time I've put on a T-shirt, considered putting on a T-shirt, or even thought the word "T-shirt," I've ended up chanting "T-shirt Tyyyiiiiiiiime!!!" When's the last time T-shirts made you want to sing?

All this fun went out the window during last night's Reunion special, hosted by Julissa Bermudez, who is basically MTV's version of Zingbot, except not funny and way less attractive. Anyone hoping for juicy Real Housewives-ish showdowns went away disappointed. We basically got a clip show of season 2 debauchery, with lots of backslapping. In the interest of not ruining your brain, here are the only three interesting things that happened during the hour:

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