'Gossip Girl' recap: War of the Worlds

The rich versus the poor. It's a war that has been waged since the beginning of history, and fittingly, it continues in the land where history means you always have some friends on your side.

Of course, that sort of makes all of this sound dignified  -- it's really not. It's mostly the fug-haired versus the well-coiffed (and Serena snuck in this group somehow). The Woodbury Commons versus haute couture. The played versus the players. And oh how it's a game we love. But before we get to that, we must rewind to fully enjoy the debauchery.

We opened this week with Serena, who walked into Blair's room without knocking and -- unbeknownst to her -- interrupted Blair's Bass-ive sex romp with Chuck. (Three cheers!) We assumed from this that whatever time has passed since their first round of hate-sex last week has been filled with long, hard nights -- and I'm sure Blair was there, too. Although, she claimed she was done with it all, telling Chuck, "This has got to end." "I thought I just did," Chuck sneered. Pause to fan yourselves.

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