'Top Chef' recap: The All-Stars Premiere!

Welcome to Season 8 of Top Chef, where everyone is an All-Star! They're in New York, where people constantly eat apples. I'm eating one in my apartment right now! How did they know? Duh, they're professionals. As Spike said, "Now I've kind of bloomed, and I have a career." Well, perfect. Let's get going.

I love how the editors didn't even mess around and just got right into the re-introductions featuring commentary from the chefs' rivalsabout what terrible people they all are. Meet season 1's Tiffani, "a snake." There's Stephen, who is "obviously a tool and a douchebag." You remember Marcel, right? That "selfish, self-centered, egotistical bastard"? Of course you do! Many of the series' best and most polarizing personalities are back in action and, as Carla said, will not be intimidated by your food. Or take it from Tre: "I ain't playin' around with this motherf---er." Okay! These people are in it to win it. Professor Richard! Gorgeous yet impossibly smug Jamie! Feisty Jen Carroll! And best of all: Fabio, who now has a bit of a mullet.

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