THE X FACTOR “2010 Finals, Part 1'' review

X Factor "Finals, 2010"

Well, here we go: the finals of 2010 are upon us (part 1 at least), and that means four of the contestants will sing, and one will be going home tonight. My bet is on Cher, not because I want her to go (em…I want her to win, actually) but because the British public appear to dislike chavs. Really, they like cookie cutter painters who sing like a kicked puppies lathered in beige.

But let’s give the British public the benefit of the doubt.

The final 16 (let’s hope they bring it back to 12 next year because I swear I haven’t seen half of these people in my life) reappear. The viewers who died listening to these contestants are represented by corpses on stage, who are symbolically brought to life by the final four (well, they dance for Cher. They crouch and crawl and do jumping jacks for Rebecca, Matt and One Direction-symbolic? Let us hope so).

Matt sings Here With Me, with a guitar, to prove he is a ‘serious’ singer-song writer thing. By far and away the best part about his performance are the anonymous brides playing violin. Unfortunately they are surrouded by desert tributes to Roswell. I cannot believe Matt has been the favorite to win. He is the definition of bland.

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