Ice ages have come and gone, earthquakes have divided the earth, Wagner has beat his last drum, and The X Factor Final has finally started. Granted, thanks to the tabloids’ whinging, the most interesting contestants have been kicked out and we’re left with One Direction, Matt and Rebecca. Shall we see which one gets their single three and a half minutes of Christma fame followed by a career flipping on rural town Christmas lights?
They’re out singing a bland Take That song, with Take That. Some random children show up. Then the song is over and its time for a montage. I’ll miss these montages.
In an attempt to get the public to vote for him, Matt is singing Katy Perry’s song Fireworks. Well, he’s sort of squealing it. In lemon pants. She had actual fireworks. He has dancers in blue pyjamas. He’s given a standing O. Better than his performance, as always, is Stacey’s interview with his supporters. I love Stacey.
One Direction sing Torn. I cannot imagine why. It’s not like the artist who first sang the song ever appeared on the show. Anyhow, they’re doing their best back slaps and hugs to ensure the viewers they’re the best of mates. Simon stands up.
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