'Top Chef' recap: Make food for the f---ing people

Hey, Top Chef junkies! Mallika Rao here again. You may remember me from such recaps as three weeks ago. So I turned on this episode a few minutes late and all I saw was Marcel simultaneously flapping his arms like a chicken and trying to rap. This confused me. The show was literally only moments in and already someone seemed to be breaking down. Upon rewinding, I discovered the reason, but not before encountering She Who Cannot Be Named. Actually, what the hell, you know her name. Jamie. Jamie Jamie Jamie.

Jamie, it turns out, was as shocked as all of us that Casey, not Jamie, went home. "Sucks for her," Jamie said, "I feel bad." She swiftly reconsidered: "But at the same time it's like, whatever." Whatever indeed! Casey, who looks like Tami Taylor and is coincidentally also from Texas, probably went to some sunny place where she can wear all the fuchsia lipstick she wants, and perform needle tricks on a little doll that looks like Jamie, a contestant who is, truthfully, starting to depress me. As villainous as she can seem at times, other times she's just a sad lady who loves soup. Read More…



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