'American Idol' recap: California Screamin'

Let Ryan Seacrest's grave voiceover tell you: "Our Los Angeles auditions have been far from successful." But way to sit through an hour of filler, suckers!

A few times during last night's hour-long costume party on American Idol, I found myself staring deep into my microwave, which lives at least 80 degrees counterclockwise from my television. What goes on in there? Are the bacterias having more fun than me? Why is the door always open? I didn't want to miss a thing, but there's no way I did. Apparently L.A. offered so little talent that at one point there was just a bewildered Seacrest watching a fleet of assistants deliver snacks. And sure, this is powerful stuff in its own way. We'll never know which one of Ryan's bleep-happy "friends" kept ordering all those appies. I'll be pondering it for hours. But come on. Read More...



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